The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
