I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize