please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
