He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
