we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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