Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
