are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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