This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
