I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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