the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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