Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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