drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
