ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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