I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
