Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
