my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
