I wannas sexs uuuuu
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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