Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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