oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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