Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This baby is an asshole
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
