Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
