Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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