you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
