i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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