Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
