What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
