You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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