I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
