Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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