Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
