I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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