I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
