Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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