did you get engaged???
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
did you just send me my own nude
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
