Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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