blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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