Your face is a jimmy john
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
