so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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