Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
