loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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