I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
