This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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