I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
