Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
