Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
