forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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