Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
