spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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