I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
