Duck Duck Cougar?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
