I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
