i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
