It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
