that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
