i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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