I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize