He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
